Friday 28 June 2013

IMPORTANT Teachings

http://www.dfg.cn/gb/yspd/jx-7.htm 
( click on this melody link before you read ^.^) 

This is some of the most important teachings I learn from for the past few years(& now). These are attitudes in life that makes me a happier person and live a fulfilling life.
I put in my best to practice though I have not fully fulfill them all. 
Sharing it with you my friends. 




把自己忘了,念念为别人着想,                                                      把别人的利益放在自己利益之上。
  
严于律己,宽以待人。行有不得反求诸己。
但行好事,莫问前程。不求有功,但求无过。

只看别人的好。不看别人的不好。
不要把别人的垃圾放进自己纯清净纯善的心中。

活着的每一天,就要尽全力努力一天,                                            每一天一定很充实,切忌不可懈怠。
以服务为人生第一目标

For teachers, parents and leaders:
培养国家之栋梁、栽培国家之人才。
对每一位学生,一视同仁。
爱护每一位学生,用真诚爱心和耐心照亮学生的心。              要对学生守信。




行有不得反求诸己。
Whenever we encounter a problem/challenge in life, we should not blame others or criticize others, we should reflect on ourselves, what we have done wrong on our part and change for the better. The problem(s) always lies within us.
(my reflection in the 1st post) 

严于律己,宽以待人。
We should be more forgiving towards others’ shortcomings while we should be strict with ourselves/our own flaws.
(my reflection in the 1st post) 

但行好事,莫问前程。
When we do good, we do not ask for return or any rewards, we do it for others, the society and the world’s benefits.

不求有功,但求无过。
We do not need any credit or praises for what we have done. The only thing that we hope is that what we do will not have errors.

只为成功找方法, 不为失败找借口
We persist in searching earnestly for ways/methods/solutions to succeed. 
Do not give myself /search for excuses for why we fail. 
  

只看别人的好。不看别人的不好。
不要把别人的垃圾放进自己纯清净纯善的心中。
Do not make your benevolent/pure kind heart a trash bin for others’ bad character/ behaviour/attitude/actions/words/etc
We only put the good in people into our heart; the bad/flaws in people should be forgiven forgotten and thrown away.



爱人者人,人恒爱之。
敬仁者,人恒敬之。
We show love and care towards others, others will also reciprocate and show concern and love to us.
Someone who respects others will earn respect from others too.

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If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them,
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the
 best you have anyway.

- by Mother Teresa and  Kent M. Keith




真诚zhen cheng
True sincerity
 towards others
清净qing jing
Purity of Mind
   within
平等ping deng
Equality
In everything we see
慈悲 ci bei      
Compassion
Helping others in a wise and unconditional way

Or 慈悲=理智的爱,不是用感情的。
Love using our mind and not our sentimental heart.




In my Chinese traditional culture/values lessons, I learn that these are virtues I should strive to achieve. 

一个人良好的品德 A person’s good/commendable  character

The quality/Characteristic of a successful person

(1)    孝顺filial piety    (2)    尊师 Respectful to teachers
(3)    尊敬长辈
Respectful towards people older than us
(4)    有礼貌 Be courtesy
(5)    有责任感
strong sense of responsibility
(6)    诚信/诚实 Honesty
(7)    谦卑Humble; modest
(8)    有耐心 Patience
(9)    有大心量,包容 Tolerance
(10) 勤劳Diligent; hardworking
(11) 值得信任 Trustworthy
(12) 为人着想spare a thought for others
(13) 有爱心 Lovingkindness/ love (broad meaning)
(14) 能屈能生
To be able to stoop or stand; submit when one is in a situation where one cannot achieve one’s ambition by exercising patience and tolerance, and show your capability when one’s opportunity comes.     
(15) 忍让、谦让、礼让 

The list is inexhaustible and will go a long long list. 

but the least is to fulfill and practice these basic list of virtues. 
Let's do it together! 
Each word, Each line is extremely vital! 
Wisdom of Saints and Sages!  
These virtues will make our lives more meaningful and fulfilling! 
SMiLZ!  

Wednesday 26 June 2013

LoVe (2)

Stage 1: Love ( Saint Christ's teachings) 

The Love I am talking here is Not BGR. 
It is the unconditional love that I need to cultivate towards Mankind (everyone). 
It can be in all forms of relationship and is the broad form of love. 


     "Unconditional love expects no reward, knows no fear, does not demand" 
"Unconditional love is love without preconditions, or judgement, or discrimination"
impt! Plz read slowly and carefully! 
Every word Every line is extremely important!

I will fulfill my wish to fully practice the teachings' of love above. 
I will practice it and make it part of my life! 
I Can Do It! So can U!  


Love for Mankind! 

              Stage 2 : Wise Love ( Saint Buddha's teachings) 

Worldly people love sentimentally and sometimes blinded by it. We do not see the full picture when we are sentimental. This kind of love is filled with emotions and sometimes it can cause undesirable consequences. It hurts many times. 

The second stage of love is one that will not hurt because....it puts aside all emotions!  
The 2nd stage of love is build on the foundation of stage 1.
Love without being sentimental and emotional. 
Love with wisdom. 
慈悲: 理智的爱,不是感情用事的爱。充满智慧的爱!This can only be achieve via learning saints' teachings and Buddha's teachings. I cannot elaborate in full details because i am still learning:) 
True love will not change. 
All Saints' love is TRUE Love ( Unconditional Love) 
Love with a sentimental heart is not TRUE love. 
Love that change is not true love.
Love is selfless and forgiving. 

Love people no matter how they treat me, good or bad. 
For Buddha and saints:  

  • For someone who treat him nicely, he love unsentimental and unconditionally. 
  • For someone who mistreat him,                    he love unsentimental and unconditionally.   
  • For someone who hurt and harm him, he love unsentimental and unconditionally 

Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.
           Buddha


I will learn and Practice Saint Christ's and Buddha's teachings of love in my life and live fully!
It will become a part of me:) 

Sunday 23 June 2013

GiVinG FeedBaCK to LoVeD ONeS/ people

Method and wisdom in giving feedback or criticism
-          Attitude, intention, tone, timing
-          First condition: Deep trust , the person has to trust me very much
-          How to build trust: fully elaborated in the video.


Giving feedback/advice between
  1. parents and children (grown up)
  2. siblings (brothers/sisters/ cousins)
  3. friends
  4. colleagues
  5. in-laws
  6. bosses ( me and leaders/management/etc)
  7. partners (personal partners/ business partners)
  8. spouses (husband, wife) / boyfriend/girlfriend
Intention: A heart to help others to be better, a sincere heart  
Attitude: Sincere and patience, not blaming others
Timing:
1.       when it is a one-to-one interaction and not in the public or in front of a lot of people ( it may be very embarassing and shameful for others)
2.       Only when you feel that she/he is able to accept it
3.       when the person is happy
Tone: Use a warm and nice tone with a friendly/respectful/nice facial expression  
_________________________________________________________________________

The above is the very brief summary of the method to give people feedback
Please watch this video to get the full elaborated teachings and many real-life incident on how people give effective feedback.
Every minute and second in this video is very important!

*      It is important to know and apply the most effective way to give feedback. With the wrong method, it will cause really bad consequences such as spoiling relationship/ conflict/ ‘cold war’/resentment/ etc. 
*      It is important to have a big heart and humble attitude to accept people’s feedback/advice/criticism ( some advice is wrong and we do not take those advice/feedback to heart)

弟子规细讲第13集 40:35- 55:08 minute  到 15集 17:30

第13集 from 40:35-55:08
第14集
第15集 till 17:30

《弟子规》-入则销

親有過     諫使更     怡吾色     柔吾聲
亲有过  谏使更  怡吾色  柔吾声
When my parents do wrong, I will urge them to change. I will do it with a kind facial expression and a warm gentle voice.
父母有過失,要力勸他們更改。勸他們的時候,我們的表情要委婉,聲音要柔和。

諫不入     悅復諫     號泣隨     撻無怨
If they do not accept my advice, I will wait until they are in a happier mood before I attempt to dissuade them again, followed by crying, if necessary, to make them understand. If they end up whipping me, I will not hold grudge against them.
如父母不接受我們的勸告,我們可以等父母心情好一點的時候,再次的勸他們。如果父母還是不肯接受,我們可以接著用哭泣的方式使父母覺悟。即使因此被父母鞭打,我們心裡也絕不會起怨恨的心。

Friday 21 June 2013

AppreciateCriticism(6) /feedback

Final appreciate criticism/feedback Post  


All the 6 'AppreciateCriticism' posts mainly revolve around 2 out of 3 teachings shown below. 

《弟子规》-- 信篇

聞過怒  聞譽樂  損友來  益友卻 

闻过怒    闻誉乐    损友来    益友却

If criticism makes me angry and compliments make me happy, bad company will come my way and good friends will shy away. 如我聽(听)人批評,就會(会)生氣;聽到別人讚美(赞美),就會感到高興(高兴);壞朋友(坏朋友)會接踵而來,好朋友會遠離(远离)我而去。

聞 譽 恐     聞 過 欣   直 諒 士    漸 相 親
闻 誉 恐   闻 过 欣    直 谅 士     渐 相 亲

If I am uneasy with compliments and appreciative of criticism, then sincere, understanding, and virtuous people will gradually come close to me.
如 我 聽 到 別 人 讚 嘆 ,就 起 恐 慌 ;聽 到 別 人 批 評 ,反 而 感 到 高 興 ;有 誠 信 又 能 諒 解 我 的 道 德 人 士 ,才 會 逐 漸 願 意 與 我 親 近。

Teacher teach!

Criticism- a heart to help my friend/someone to change for the better!
Complement/affirm the person before criticizing them if you are not close/lack trust with the person. Build rapport and trust with others before criticism is appropriate! If there is no/little trust, they may take it very negatively and things may get worse. It is better to keep silent or wait for a good opportunity to voice it! If possible, tell them one to one and not humiliate them in front of a lot of people (depending on the person, some people can take it in front of others but most can't). My tone, attitude, timing and mentality is very important for criticism to be effective! 

This video will elaborate fully on the teaching regarding the attitude I should have when  I face complement and criticism : 第33集  29:22 minute - 48:40 minute




'The life filled with happiness' talk 幸福人生講座


If the above video does not work, please go to this link :D  
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=%E7%B4%B0%E8%AC%9B%E3%80%8A%E5%BC%9F%E5%AD%90%E8%A6%8F%E3%80%8B%E7%AC%AC33%E9%9B%86&oq=%E7%B4%B0%E8%AC%9B%E3%80%8A%E5%BC%9F%E5%AD%90%E8%A6%8F%E3%80%8B%E7%AC%AC33%E9%9B%86&gs_l=youtube.3...4900.7296.0.7929.4.4.0.0.0.0.315.531.3j3-1.4.0...0.0...1ac.1.11.youtube.cOYCHzEU3yA


HAVE A BIG HEART TO ACCEPT AND APPRECIATE OTHERS' CRITICISM! 
Criticism will make us a better person as we can change for the better!