AppreciateCriticism(3) /feedback

If I am uneasy with compliments and appreciative of criticism, then sincere, understanding, and virtuous people will gradually come close to me.



When I encourage others (seniors/peers/strangers/colleagues /etc) to do good, both of our virtues are improved. If I do not tell another of his faults, we are both wrong if the trust is build between you and him/her.

Application to my life: 

Flaws 1: Judgmental, stereotype.

• I am fortunate to have a friend Ryan, who was willing to point out my flaws. Although we don’t know each other for very long, but I guess we have built trust already. At least he knew I treat him as my friend. Ryan told me: Don’t be so judgmental as I form opinions of people and situations very quickly when it would be better for me to know more about the person or situation beyond the surface that I observe. “You judge from only what you see with your eye, you don’t see with your heart.” What I see/observe may not be what is true. What he said is indeed true, and I will change…thanks lots Ryan…(actually, don’t judge people, don’t have to give comment on others, change myself for the better by finding and searching for the problem in myself... which is the most important thing I have to do daily, rather than looking and commenting at others).

Additionally within the same group of friends, Maria also commented that the problem with me is I am always stereotyping and it may not be true. I always tend to say guys are lustful and unfaithful. It is good and I am glad that they told me so! So it is better that I lose all my stereotypes and start looking at the good side of guys. ( I form this stereotype as a result of the media, what I observed and the bad experience that I had in the past that I don’t wish to mention). Yes, I believe there are good guys around... hope so...

• Furthermore, some time ago, I had a meal with another friend Rui Tian and her new friends. Her friend Rain gave me a pretty good impression and my interaction with her was rather pleasant. Rui Tian, similar to Ryan, brought to my attention that I am judgmental. She told me I cannot jump into conclusion that a person is nice based on first impression or on the first few meet up. A person can be nice on the first meet up, but after some interaction and a better understanding, you will realize that friend is pretty different from the first impression you have. She told me some  unpleasant incident that happen between them. Rui tian told me that only after knowing a person for a long period of time (being together), then I will truly know a person. As a saying goes, 路遥知马力，日久见人心。But she also reassures me that it is good to be optimistic and positive when I interact with people.

• After my friends told me I am judging and stereotyping people, I researched on my flaws and learn more!   

• What does it mean to "judge" someone and what are some ways to solve it?

~ Judging is thinking and commenting on someone when you don't even know them well enough. Like jumping into conclusions. I am applying standards to others that I don't apply to myself.

Very important teachings:D
practice it, and be happy 

~ From the Saint Christ: "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." don’t be over critical toward others. Don’t criticize others. "Do not judge." There is a righteous kind of judgment we are supposed to exercise—with careful discernment, not to judge--not to judge hypocritically.

    ~ From the Saint Christ: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." The saint is condemning hypocritical, self-righteous judgments of others. Saint Christ warns against judging someone else for his sin when you yourself are sinning even worse. A saint commanded us not to do so. 

~ It is a duty to lovingly and respectfully confront the person with his sin. This is not judging, but rather pointing out the truth in hope—and with the ultimate goal—of bringing repentance in the other person and restoration to the fellowship. We are to speak the truth in love.

~ Saint Buddha also has teachings: Buddha want us to be free from worry and troubles by clearing our thoughts to attain peace at heart & mind. Put no good and evils in our heart and be free. To judge is to effectively 'pollute' our heart...I need to stop judging and have a kind, pure, clean and clear heart! Be at peace!  清净无染！…….

善相劝     德皆建   
闻 誉 恐   闻 过 欣    直 谅 士     渐 相 亲

I will change for the better and not judge or jump into conclusion when someone do something/ when I see something. I will learn and keep an open mind as everyone is different, I have to accept differences^.^ thank you Ryan, Maria, Rui tian, Jun Ting for pointing out my errors. I will change for good and not be judgmental. 

If I will to continue with this habit of judging people, I believe I will experience bad/terrible consequences. 

SmileyPeace bow deeply with heartfelt thanks for my friends as you are willing to point out my errors!