When you observe others do wrong, immediately reflect upon yourself (4)

『见人恶　即内省　有则改　无加警』

When I observe/realise others do wrong (actions/words/behaviour), I must immediately reflect upon myself.

If I have made the same error/ mistake or has the same flaws/faults, I will correct it. 

If not, I will take extra care to not make the same mistake as him/her.

Incident 5
Some time ago...

1.   When I saw Jorge with another girl, I felt a bit upset or rather I really disapprove of such behavior—previously with Jia Ying and now with another girl.

2.  I have many friends who has many exes. Some have five (such a ridiculous number of ex-boyfriends). In a company, I worked as an admin assistant and I met this gal called Stella (21 Years old). Stella has three ex-boyfriend and she mentions/chat with me about them frequently. She is still in contact with them. There was once I told her…which Ex are you talking about… you have so many of them. Then she realise what I really want to tell her implicitly... she replied that she has to reflect…by now she has at least four relationship throughout her twenty odd years of life (Early twenties)… Also, I know of a friend (in secondary school days) who change girlfriend every year.

3.   There was another incident in university year two. My friend Huiping cried after her chat with her bf. Her tears were uncontrollable as I am not her close friend yet she cried in lecture in front of me. I consoled and comforted her but she did not stop tearing. How sad I felt! She did not tell me why she cried but after the incident when she was calmer...she told me her boyfriend break up with her because he liked another gal. Such ever-changing love(so called love).
  

My reflection:

1.  Love - which is not true love as it hurts. True Love will not hurt. People are indulging themselves in the so called ‘love’ which I term as fake love. In fact, it is not love because they actually ‘love’ different people at different time. Love shouldn’t change so easily.
     

2.   People’s feelings for others really change so quickly, that’s why 佛经讲娑婆世界众生虚情假意。They are ever-changing, feelings and humans are ever-changing. So if someone says she/he likes you, don’t be too happy as who knows the next moment, he/she may dislikes you. Don’t be upset if someone tell you they dislike you, as their feelings changes and not long later, he/she will says they like you. Life is just a dream, don't take it too seriously:)

    That’s why (all saints) Buddha’s love for people is real, as his love for people will never change, and it’s rational love without having sentimental feelings in it 真是慈悲—理智的爱 True love- compassion and unconditional love 慈悲 not sentimental. This is something I will learn...

( My teacher told us that if one cannot practice the Love as describe in the pic below--then one cannot have true love for others...and the relationship will not last long...as forgiven is needed in all people relationship...  Long-term relationship is worth committing and not short-term ones. )

爱的真谛

爱是恒久忍耐又有恩慈

爱是不嫉妒

爱是不自夸不张狂

不做害羞的事

不求自己的益处

不轻易发怒

不计算人家的恶

不喜欢不义只喜欢真理

凡事包容凡事相信

凡事盼望

凡事忍耐凡事要忍耐

爱是永不止息

3.   Also Remember even if people are fake to me虚情假意 putting up a nice frame，I will still treat them sincerely我们只可以慈悲真诚相待。感化的力量是很大的！

4.  If one has a bf/gf, one should not even like someone else. One has got to be faithfully committed.  I should reflect ... I will not be like them. I will not be ever-changing and will not play with people feelings. 

5.   Flaws: 我不能/不可以/不要看不顺眼任何的行为。反省！『只看别人的好。不看别人的不好。不要把别人的垃圾放进自己纯净纯善的心中。』I shouldn’t make my benevolent/pure/ kind heart... a trash bin for others’ bad attitude/actions. I should only put the good of people into my heart; the bad flaws in people should be forgiven, forgotten and thrown away. 

Note: I am writing a post on this particular teaching when I observe the wrong... people do, but that doesn't mean all relationships are like what I describe above. I write the above to share with you how I reflect it as a mirror for me to realise the flaws in myself. There are still many faithful people around.

『见人恶　即内省　有则改　无加警』

Other's actions serve as a mirror for me to reflect and change for the better !